So what  has the hardest part been for you?

I have no help from family not living anywhere near anyone I'm related to. We moved about a year ago and don't yet have any friends. And with covid over these last few years we did not feel comfortable with childcare of any sort. I had to give up my job to become a stay at home mom. Which I am grateful I have the opportunity to do, but it’s still losing more of what I had worked so hard for, for the sake of my family.

While I "show up" everyday for my kids, I am not going to lie it is exhausting physically and even more so emotionally. I don't wear nice clothes anymore, I don't ever wear makeup, I haven't been for a haircut in probably 3 years now, I don't even paint my toenails anymore or dye my hair. All the little things that I would do for myself in the past are sacrificed now for time, money or safety reasons for my kids. Before kids, my husband and I would go on all these awesome vacations together. Now I get to plan how many times a week I can dodge my husbands sexual advances, which trust me, feels like a full time job. So how do you take care of you when you have to take care of everyone else?
Kids, pets, partner, house, finances...

Some Tips I have found to help me get some of myself back:

• Shower everyday when the kids go to bed
• Take 5 minutes after shower to massage your hands and feet
• Have a simple face routine you stick to everyday
• During nap time give yourself a half hour to do nothing except what you want
• Take kids for a walk to get in exercise
• Mow the grass or any yard work you enjoy
• Date night after kids go to bed - even if this is just talking or watching a show
• Connect with your partner physically
• Take a nap when the kids nap
• Get yourself a special drink once a week
• Go food shopping alone
• Eat healthier - just small changes will make a big difference
• Stretch for 2-5 minutes before bed - simple yoga poses and focus on your breath
• Set up 5 simple goals each week and knock them off each week day
  • Ex. This week I need to make a physical appointment at the vet for the dogs, order my sons new car seat, change out my daughters clothes for the next size up, pack for an upcoming trip and renew my massage therapy license. These are things out of the ordinary and don’t count as your regular cooking cleaning and life responsibilities.

Go on a vacation for your kids and plan the shit out of it. Ex. We are taking the kids to Disney and we are doing so much research to make it as great as we can for the kids even though they won't remember. It gives me something positive to focus on which helps tremendously.

Pat yourself on the back for a job well done! You got through another week being the rock that holds your family together! You definitely deserve a cookie (which should really be one of the major food groups as far as I’m concerned)
Watch some comedy - laughing makes a huge difference so find something to make you laugh
Dance with and Hug your kid/kids - remember why you are giving so much to those who can never pay you back but this is more then worth the sacrifice. Plus you’d be surprised at how dancing around the living room with your kid giggling in your ear will do your soul wonders!